Countdown(Part 1) Poem by poeticgirl 100993

Ten..
more than ten times I used to cry,
because of him and them and I still try,
to be good and yet, they let my heart fry,
and do not care if my tears run dry.
Less than ten times I strike a real smile,
it feels good, though it's only for a while,
my heart and mind, their distance is a mile,
and they are always stuck in a seperate isle.
Exactly ten times I always show a plain reaction,
though I feel like dying because of my heart's expansion,
I have nothing to show them but smile and compassion,
but having something in return is only a part of my imagination.

Nine..
9th of October when my mother started me to lay,
as a child, I saw life beautiful as the sunset at the bay,
I thought, the journey was enjoyable but a zigzag one-way,
and all things can make you happy in just one day.
nine used to become part of our memories,
but now, it is nothing but your so-called monthsary,
it was only your name that was written in my long-kept diaries,
and now, it was fading in my mind like drowning water lilies.
but i am proud owning that lucky number nine,
everytime i celebrate, i always feel fine,
blessed years passing, i become more matured that some things cannot be mine,
then one day, i felt that i was killed by a strong vine.

Eight..
previously, eight in the morning when we start our class in english,
thanks to that subject for it made me flourished,
my confidence gained, and all my doubts were diminished,
but it won't be a reason to forget everything and become snobbish.
eight in the evening when i used to reflect,
all the things i need, so hard to detect,
maybe, i just need someone who protect,
and never let me feel everytime that i am dissected.

Seven..
i listed 7 things as one of my favorite songs before,
shouting while singing 'cause i always feel sore,
i expected for some impossibilities no more,
for i always feel pain running down into my core.
Seven scars left in my body,
remembering childhood, slipping so badly,
but my parents just kissed my scars and told me a story,
to never feel the pain, and for it to heal easily.

Six..
five trusted friends plus me equals six in a group,
i feel buoyant and all my fears were coped,
i breath so well and my neck was free from a rope,
and all i see in this new world is hope.
also five trusted friends plus me equals six in a group during my younger years,
when my mind is unclear and doubtful because of fear,
but a beautiful music, because of them, is suddenly hear,
until nothing fell from my eyes even a single tear.


*continuation of 5 down to 1-COUNTDOWN PART 2