'' Cut Price Bloody Flights '' Poem by Bri Mar

I fancied going on holiday,
So I searched the Internet,
I tried out various airlines,
Just to see what I could get.

As I'm on a real tight budget,
The price had to be the best,
Nothing fancy, there and back,
Costing less than all the rest.

I then came across a company,
Their seats were really cheap,
A no frills airline that would do,
My debts wouldn't go too deep.

When I searched their website,
I was amazed at what I found,
A flight to where I want to go,
For just a single pound.

I then went on to pay the bill,
So I used my credit card,
What they charged me for using it,
Has left me feeling scarred.

Then before the bill was finalised,
When I thought I could relax,
They told me I then had to pay,
Something called airport tax.

But now on to the airport,
As I checked my baggage in,
They said it should be done on-line,
Otherwise you cannot win.

I paid another surcharge,
By this time I was running late,
Another charge for that said she,
I thought this is bloody great.

As you didn't print your tickets off,
I'm afraid that's even more,
This is sheer and utter madness,
But our terms you can't ignore.

She said your bags are far too heavy,
that will cost you more again,
I was running out of money,
This was driving me insane.

Eventually when I boarded,
They left me so surprised,
They made me pay for an extra seat,
Saying I was oversized.

I thought that I had seen it all,
Then I asked them for a meal,
Thirty pounds for micro chips,
Is not the greatest deal.

I also bought a drink of juice,
My micro chips to soak,
The price they charged me for it,
Would have made an elephant choke.

Then I visited the toilet,
This caused even more ado,
They even charge an entry fee,
To use the bloody loo.

Eventually when we landed,
I asked where we were at,
She said in Spain I don't know where,
But at least the ground is flat.

I eventually got a taxi,
The driver was full of smiles,
I found out why when I got the bill,
We had travelled two hundred miles.

If you want to travel cheap,
Make sure you read their rules,
Or the consequences you will reap,
They use complicated tools.

Now as I sit here bankrupt,
I wish had studied my rights,
I'm living proof there's no such thing as,

'' Cut Price Bloody Flights ''