Dom Hunt

Rookie - 13 Points (17/04/1966 / geelong)

Daffodils On The Hill


There was a time of sadness
Dark and cold it was
Love had died and rotted there
Memories and dreams both crushed
Nothing stays the same
Sadness fades then grows to joy
Light chases away the dark
The sun finally kills the cold
Love emerges where you don't expect
You can dance again
Laughter echos from within
All that seems lost
Has just changed
You look around and see
Daffodils on the hill

Submitted: Sunday, June 09, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, August 06, 2013

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  • Gold Star - 11,152 Points Ramesh Rai (9/24/2013 8:24:00 AM)

    It reminds me Daffodils.
    Memories and dreams both crushed
    Nothing stays the same
    beautiful write. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,549 Points S.zaynub Kamoonpuri (9/18/2013 1:00:00 AM)

    Yor exquisite poem outshines d soulful undercurrent theme endin on a positive beauty note of dafodils.
    Pls review my latest on NATURE too. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,807 Points Bri Edwards (7/11/2013 6:51:00 PM)

    i enjoyed this for being mostly-understandable, optimistic, and not too long. you fit a lot in.
    in the line: .....Love had died and rotted there....did a person who was a lover or loved one die and get buried
    on the hill which later sprouted daffodils? ? really, i'm serious. really!
    but if a loved one died and was so missed, i wonder about some other parts you write.....such as:
    in the line: .....Sadness fades then grows to joy....if the sadness fades i think that is fine, but it sounds like you are saying that the sadness becomes joy, which doesn't sound right to me. how about 'sadness fades and joy grows'? ? ?
    in the line: .....Memories and dreams both crushed....if what i suspected above happened, why would memories be crushed? i can understand dreams being crushed, but wouldn't memories live on? ?

    despite how critical i may seem, i plan to send this to my poemlist. it seems i'm finding poems more often recently that i like enough to send to the list for possible later reading and a reminder to look at the authors' works in the future. long live poemhunter! ! ! thanks for sharing. i particularly enjoyed the following:

    Light chases away the dark
    The sun finally kills the cold
    Love emerges where you don't expect
    You can dance again
    Laughter echos from within that's great to hear, :) bri (Report) Reply

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