Treasure Island

Sandra Feldman

Dark Waters

Thoughts come tumbling,
Down the stairs,
Where to go?
When no one cares?
Maybe down to Endless Sea,
Where Dark Waters talk to me.

Night or day or day and night,
It's the same lugubrious fight,
Should I tell you how I feel?
Or just in the Night conceal,
All these Shadows in my heart,
That prevent any New Start.

Submitted: Sunday, June 29, 2014

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Topic(s): love

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  • Neela Nath (6/30/2014 3:24:00 AM)

    Pain is here in this poem.A question of insecurity, a sense of nothingness are embedded.But, it's a momentary feeling.Soon, you will get rid of it.Wind of enthusiasm will help you to have a new beginning.Very nice expression. (Report) Reply

  • Khairul Ahsan (6/29/2014 11:29:00 PM)

    This is a nice poem with a nice caption.
    This is how a good poem should be. It should have a caption that would attract the eye and invite the reader to read it. It should make an opening statement that would make the reader curious, and then describe a scene, a feeling or a thought that the readers can easily relate to.

    Your opening lines immediately raised my curiosity. 'Where to go, when no one cares' is a puzzling thought, sad and somber. The 'Endless sea' and 'Dark Waters', with your usual style of using capitals to emphasize, is an unknown domain to me. But your internal 'lugubrious fight' whether to share your feelings or not, is a known area and I can say that it is always good to share.
    The poem has its own class, just as the poet. Simply astounding! 10/10. (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (6/29/2014 10:46:00 PM)

    Thoughts tumbling down the stairs sounds like a painful experience. Where to go when no one cares? A life of solitude often times is a painful lonely road. Should you tell us how you feel? I feel you should because when you do you see through a new set of eyes there are ones that do care. Hence why I am writing you this comment. I enjoy this poem. The tone is melancholy which I love and releasing the shadows into a world of poetry is commendable. (Report) Reply

    Khairul Ahsan (6/29/2014 10:53:00 PM)

    A beautiful comment, Ed! I liked your thoughts.

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