David And Elaine’s Epic Birthday Battle May Poem by David McLansky

David and Elaine’s Epic Birthday
Battle May 2007

David: Said Cupid to
The Wounded Maid,
'Why must my darts
You still evade?
For there is balm
In my swift shafts
To soothe and calm
A lover's wrath;
Let me lance your wound
With words
Of subtle honey
And healing herbs,
And in so doing
Heal your heart;
Come bare your breast,
Receive my Art.'

Come sweet Cybele
Please hold still
My aim is poor,
My eyesight nil,
I would relieve
Thy grieving pain,
But for the fact
I have no aim;
It seems
I accidentally shot
A monkey,
And have two sons:
A mule and donkey.

Elaine: A birthday arrow has been sent,
It's aim secure the bow's been bent.
My target one poetic steed,
The potion, happiness to breed.
You can't escape the wishes passed
When day is done you'll feel harassed!

David: You target me
Oh, giddy Maid,
Come taste the nectar
Of my blade,
As you harry
As you strike,
I parry you,
In combat tight;
I cross my sword
Against your blade;
Your eyes are green
Of Chinese Jade!

Elaine: My eyes are green
But so's my face
Ive got the flu
its makeup paste
Your challenge on
I'll take the quest
A giddy maid
To be your guest.
Upon this scene
I shall be strong
Poetic charm
your birthday song.
I heard the shot
The rhyming gun.
This noble fight
I think I've won!

David: Oh giddy, bouncing, ebullient girl,
You leap, you twist, you jump, you twirl;
You thrust, you dart, you stab the air,
You wave your sword so debonair;
I stand composed and simply marvel
Such energy in a rival;
Come closer now, please engage,
Your alacrity I would assuage;
I cut to ribbons your black dress,
Now there's a pose that does impress.

Elaine: Poetic scholar you're first class!
A diamond tongue to cut through glass.
Unprepared I seem to be,
My new black dress a May Day tree.
Undaunted I shall stay awhile,
A ribbon dance in modern style.
A chariot of birthday fare
Brought me clothed now I'm bare
Though I need to sing your song
The tinsel dress will show my thong.
I smile so bright and curtsy dance,
To remove the belt around your pants.
Now hold my hands as we parlay,
And let the pants fall where they may!

David: Now you've done it, my new Levi jeans,
You've slashed the rivets at the seams,
I'll have to clutch my pant loops
And defend my honor while they droop;
i weave and parry while on my cuffs,
Your boasts and threats are so much fluff
I see you wear a garter belt,
I hope this blow doesn't cause a welt.
Your dress so cut and slashed to ribbons
I see you move like Lisa Gibbons,
You may be dancing with the stars,
But I think it best we not go too far;
Others watching might be mocking,
I'll just put a run in your stocking.

Elaine: A bit of fluff he says of ME?
Its lining of the May Day tree.
Your Levi's now will have a GAP,
The rivets are not in your lap.
Perhaps suspenders work the best
And give your hands to me to rest.
A garter belt is all you see, ...?
You must have blinked..oh lucky me!
The welts and bruises that you find
Match my flu-like state of mind.
The birthday game just lasts one day
It really is your chance to play.
So tell me David will you dance...
Even if you have no pants?