Dear Father (One Time Feeling) Poem by grezlay figueroa

Get a grip!
Try to fight it.
You know you can do it!
So stop doubting.
Everything you worked so hard for has gone to waste
All because of the position your in.

They don’t care… it doesn’t mean you should give up.
Even if you fall… no one can pick u up.
Your on your own now… I thought I should let u know.
That when you’re a teenager your life gets worse.
I wish I was never a teen …not at all.
Just let me be 3 then from 20 and on.

Everyone hates me and I don’t know why? ?
If only they knew I put myself to the side.
I think about them
My family and others
But what I have left is harsh words from my mother.

I cant go no where, not even to bed
Cause when I close my eyes there’s a horror story happening.

These tears that I shed should be from happiness but they aren’t
How do you expect me to be happy when im hapless..(unfortunate)

Your words make me sick!
And im sick to my stomach
My lifes such a flitch
And am I running from it? !

I wish you would know what went on in my life
Instead of looking at pictures of moments at times.
Would you like to know what goes on behind the scene?
Or what goes on at home when nobody love me? ? ?

It tares me apart I don’t have no true friends! ! !
Not even a sister to depend on..
WANNA BET? ?

They are all just fake
Full of lives and despite the good moments
None of them were in it.

I could write here for hours about whats to come
But im s0o0 accustomed to being tortured id rather suffer with consiquence.
I bring myself down when im happy and mad.
Because that’s how I grew up way before I was 10.

Good times in my life I cant never remember!
Except for that time when I rode on that horse.
As time past me by I was crying with joy.
When I looked around me the water just froze!
For I had seen my life past me by before I could go.
Just here sitting like im on top of the world.
The sea is s0o0 beautiful as I watched it on the horse..
I wish I could’ve been colored blind so I wont have to suffer.
So I wont ever see blood
Reminding of RED being a bad color.

They say when things happen at its worse something good will be on its way.
Well I must sooner or later become a Millionaire because my life…. Lets just say never!

I don’t believe no one.
Yea. I thought you should know.
that’s why I kept your secrets… so that I could know more.

I close my eyes and I hear them whispering…

“ why are you still here if your life’s worse thoughts wont ever clear? You sure are a dumb child I wonder how you’ve made it through 15 years! ”

The truth is I didn’t … im already dead. Unlike my soul my body still remains even if it is with dread.

You remind me of the lost and the old.
I don’t know what to do.
But ill tell you one thing for sure.
I don’t think I can do this anymore.
You control me all you want
For I am not your slave.
Yet I stay placid
As if there is no rain.
A drought there might be
For you the sun is always shinning.
But for me theres just fear …that when the sun shines.
Its cause YOU WONT BE HERE? !

You will be 10 feet under
No not 6
But till then I shall stay focused.
I think I cant take it =(.

My eyes have cried and cried so many times!
That now when I hurt inside my mouth is the one that fills with water.

I want some one to hold me in their arms and never let me go.
Someone that is a mom and father.
That’ll never let me go.
No one really cares
If they did …
Why cant I smile.
No one is here for me…
If there is
Are you invisible?
Cause I am …
But if we both are
Then why we cant see each other. Oh wait I forgot
I’m broken…
Dear father.