Dearest- An Unsent Letter Poem by Newo Enec

Its hurting me to stay awake
in this nightmare of my life.
It seems you led me on again
where all I want is to slip
into a winter slumber within
a thick shell deflecting whatever
you say to me. How could you hurt
me like this when I gave you
too many signs? I know we
are forever meant to be with each
other, but its obvious you
don't agree. So it's all I want to
tell you, that no matter what,
I care. I love you more than
anything else in the world, and
even if you continually beat
me down into a dark oblivion,
I will find my own way out of
the worst situations as the light
from your happiness guides my
every footstep. I can't give you up
up that easily, so I will take a
step back and catch a glimpse
of your face light up when you see
her smile. It feels so great
beyond these earthly words I
use. Just answer me here, why
her? I... yes I'm jealous, but it
would help me so much. Does she
make you sick to your stomach
every time she smiles in
your direction. Dooes your heart
beat out of your chest when you
hint even a little? Do you feel
her soul when you lock eyes?
If she absolutely hated you after
all of this, could you continue
to like her without any slight
chance of returned feeling? Could
you endure every jealous second
of your friends looking at her,
evaluating every detail of her
appearance when they don't approve?
Do you love her like I love you?