Deceased Poem by Joshua Hillard

For a second I believed,
The thought of you needing me,
But it was a cry; in the darkened sky,
Those words were nothing to see,

This lesson I have learned,
Comes with more I have not earned,
Pen and paper, for now and later,
Feel the feelings so scorched and burned,

I'm buried with an option,
I feel alive but barely conscious,
The aching heart; two worlds apart,
Slowing down, in yield of caution,

All the pain I must relive,
Though I take I try to give,
It's haunting me, taunting me,
Is this how I was supposed to live?

This last door for which I close,
No way in, for no one knows,
The bounty I'm in; sins to begin,
Suffering from all the highs and lows,

Saved by the bottle, yet again,
For here I am, I must amend,
Release the bond, for tales to fond,
Of age I grow, for life I descend,

So may I lie here at the bed of defeat?
Close my pride, finally end this sheet?
So many pages, been blank for ages,
Cry to me, for my heart's deceased!