Wali Jamali

(1981 / Karachi)

'Deprivation'


A long time ago
I pledged to hand-over my body
To waves of mighty river Indus.
........................
........................
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  • Mousheera Shafik (3/2/2008 10:42:00 AM)

    It's marveleous to write for an aime, respects and regards for your concern Xoubiya
    :) keep it up dear (Report) Reply

  • Eila Mahima Jaipaul (2/28/2008 8:04:00 AM)

    In general I like the poem, there are some stylistic and linguistic things that you can consider, but I think that it may be a translation thing. The mood of the poem is poingnent and real and that is a good thing. My best advice to you, is to read, read, read! Read a lot of poems and keep writing. Good luck to you.
    -Eila (Report) Reply

  • Aasiq the poet (2/28/2008 4:11:00 AM)

    wonderful poem, xoubiya (how do you pronounce your name!) .
    we in india share your agony because the picture is very same here. (Report) Reply

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