Despair Poem by Nate Goodman

I sit and wonder
Is there more
what else can I do
Why am I not enough
why am I doomed to wander alone
why is life so futile
why does all that is good crumble between my fingers the more I try to take hold of it
is this all there is
the wounds cut me
I bleed
the tears fall
I bleed more
the bleeding never ends
it is a never-ending, never-healing wound
within is emptiness
all that is within me withers and dries
I am hollow and dead
inside I feel nothing
the alcohol kills the pain
I am an observer in the train wreck that is my life
how did this happen
you were everything to me
you are my angel
my salvation
my stanchion
no more
you grew tired of me
you moved on
tired
lonely
angry
sad
spent
if no one depended on me...what then
would I remain
or would I fade away
am I truly here
am I a shadow in the land of life and vitality
a symbol, a warning of what might be if not for better judgment
I remain
I persevere
I am worthless
I try my best