Jessie Clarete Bernabe Cadsawan

(December 30,1950 / Angono, Rizal, Philippines)

Did You Feel How Hard It Was?

Dizzy she ran to vomit and back to bed.
No foods for days unlikely yet strange
Body parts seem expanding moving
Feels her joints were separating
Yet no complains…Did you feel how hard it was?

.Thinning but her abdomen’s getting great
Body weighs heavy, sluggish to move around
Clothes getting tight have to buy that fitted one
Got to move freely somebody is inside of her now.
Yet no complaints…Did you feel how hard it was?

Wanted to sleep and get relaxed but they can not
Some months and moves were felt, some ticks inside
Heart beat feels two though only one, hard but ignore
Anxiety, tensed, heard cries that almost meant her life
Yet no complaints …Did you feel how hard it was?

Both want to sleep and get relaxed but they did not
Have to nurture the little soul cuddle and hug
Better-half can’t have merry-go-round the bush
Have to work hard for some foods and stuffs
Yet no complaints….Did you feel how hard it was?

Dreams were made even before your existence
A blissful life for you to own before they were gone
No days, no nights, hard all works, no playing around
Blood seemed to be their sweat to a pledged plan
Yet no complaints ….Did you feel how hard it was?

Now they were old, only you they can lean on their only one
Where are you that they shed their blood and lost good time?
In this old nipa hut in a dark lonely miserable dessert like
Not your existence can be seen, nor your cuddles be felt
Yet no complaints….Did you feel how hard it was?

Come dear child, come and see the old souls
They were creeping, sneaking, crawling like rats
From the dirty manhole you can hear them cry
Hungry and dirty cause homeless they were now
Yet no complaints….Did you feel how hard it was?

No, you can not see them now, nor feel their hugs
No, you can not feel the pains and sorrow they have
The agony of losing you breaks their weak hearts
You where there in the deep square peg’s hole for the none-life
Yet no complaints heard, nor can feel how hard it was.

If only you valued the hardships and love they did planned
Drugs, wine, gambles and women, all lust for earthly desires
You should have been alive, they should have not suffer
Yet they can not complain, you can feel the hardship no more.
How they wish you were still alive to hear no complaints
No hardships to have felt because you are their only one.

(July 28,2009 at 8: 30 pm Philippines)

Submitted: Tuesday, July 28, 2009

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