Dissociative Identity Disorder Poem by Ramona Thompson

Dissociative Identity Disorder



Don't know what's happening to me
I'm missing huge chunks of time and sometimes I hear a voice
Surely this can't be real
Splitting into two different verisons of yourself just does not happen
Oh God, please
Can somebody tell me that it doesn't?
I just want to be normal like everybody else
A whole person
Torn not in half by some secret that my own mind keeps playing hide and seek with
Independent and free from this mental instability
Virgin and whore trapped inside the same body
Every second that we're forced to co-exist is torture

I have been suicidal for so long now that I've forgotten what it's like to want to live
Damaged but by what or who or why I don' t know
Ellen is the only one that knows and so far my sinster little alter isn't talking
No one in my family wants to help or talk about it
They just ignore me and say that I must be losing my mind
I am the black sheep, after all
They taunt and tease so cruel
Leaving me yearning helplessly for some kind
Any kind of human comfort and understanding

Desperate
I'll take any kind of help that someone out there is willing to offer me
Slipping more and more away
One more day of this
I swear
I just cannot take

Running scared no longer
Determined now to admit to and be in control of my illness at last
Either that or I'll take a baseball bat to my own head
Anything it takes
To once and for all
Remove this other me from me

2008 Ramona Thompson

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Close
Error Success