Double Depression Poem by Poetic Philosopher

“Double Depression”

My mothers mesmerizing face was desecrated with tears gushing down
Invoking her amazing smile to resemble more like a frown
Yet for some reason you still said with a weakened voice “please don’t go”
So I raised your head to meet my gaze to tell you that this is something I have to do
Then as I turned to go, your small but gentle hands grabbed my wrist
Giving me a cold chill that left me with a curled up fist
Now angered I looked into your eyes to see that you had been crying all night
Causing my mind to blaze with tears, hoping that when I leave you be alright
But it was still hard to tell you that I swore an oath and now duty calls
And that I be back before the last leaf on our family tree falls
Because mom even though I may be gone all summer long
My return is something that no one can ever prolong
Now im starting to tear at the thought of leaving my mother
Especially when the man-of-the house position falls upon my younger brother
And I know that I may have broke your heart but I made my decision to join the military
Even though I was scared that I might end up in our islands obituary
I still raised my right hand giving my word and im not backing down from it
For ill fight my way out, even if I placed in the center, of hells pit
Now looking into your eyes I have built the courage to say im sorry
Because I apologize for giving you the role of a mother who has to worry
And I know it feels like you just got stabbed in the back with a knife
Causing a lot of strife in your life as a mother and wife
Even though I may be far from your side, ill always be your little boy
Cherishing all of the adventures that we got to enjoy
But now its time for me to begin my journey that may end in Iraq
A place were you always have to watch your back
And now as each step I take tears are pouring down from my eyes
Because instead of telling you the truth mom I hide it behind my lies
A realization that I truly will miss my home on the island of Guam
But mostly I will dearly miss my family and you mom
Stopping at the entrance wanting to look back but I never did as I boarded my plane
For my insanity would overcome my happiness replacing it with an unbearable pain
So I left, without ever having seen the faces you may have had
Causing me to lose the feeling of being happy, sad or even mad
And as I fight my way through different kinds of deserts that may not have an oasis
Doing whatever I can to earn my right to call you on an every day basis