Downtown Poem by Tebogo Angela Poen

1st rule: u don't say 'excuse me' 2 any1. U just pass, if u hpn 2 push them, den it's not a problem.
Ok.. Then these women be chasing u with their infinite hairstyles, wanting u 2 try them on ur head.. 'helo sisi, khom 'n see, don't u want to do ur hair? '. Somehow u manage 2 escape, then dis big-headed guy grabs ur hand & be like 'hellouw sweedart' as he blows da cigarette smoke on u.. & un4tunately u have 2 pass by dat other man sitting on da corner, giving u dat 'I want 2 swallow u' look.. U try very hard not 2 show him dat u're nervous.. So u give him a daring look. Then u happen to trip, just when u were about 2 fall, the thought of those dirty, smelly waters running in the street, ready 2 grab u, gave u more reason 2 balance & hold on to that rusty pole. Then this guy shows up, giving u that 'have mercy on me' look, asks u 4 a R2 or some bread.. Seeing how u're surrounded by a pride of lions, scared of taking the handbag off ur shoulder & reach in2 it 2 find ur purse, U tell him dat u don't have it. So he leaves u & continues with his journey.. As u rush into da taxi rank, da car passes, drives into those dirty waters, & be4 u knew it, u were showered with those waters.. Eeew.! Feeling like saying da 'f*' word.. Bt then u calm urslf, . 'this is 1 of da devils games'- u think.
U carry on with ur journey.. Aaaah! Then u come across a traffic of pedestrians.. 'this is not my day'- u think.. 'people move maan hau..'- u say it in ur heart. u feel like pushing this lady in front of u as she walks like a model. As 4 those ladies with high heels.. u just feel like screaming at them 'THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE TO PRACTISE WALKING.. Some of us are in a hurry maan'.. With a very knocked-down face, as u walking like u following a queue inside a bank, u start feeling a heat. So u think dat maybe it's a crowd.. But no.. Someone is cooking here. Heban! ! Dude where should we pass? As u walking, some1 behind u steps on ur shoe, then it comes off.. Ish. U feel like giving him a warm-klap.. But then u remembr dat u are a WJWD, So u jst walk away.. then comes dat short person whom u nearly stumbled & fell onto.. I SWEAR..!
‪#‎fast4ward‬.

Then u finally make it 2 ur taxi & luckily it's empty. As pissed as u are u go straight 2 da backseat, put ur headsets on.. & try 2 calmly reflect on what happened during da day..
& guess who joins u there..
Aaaaaaaargh!
Well.. Let's just sum it all up & say she came 2 spoil da mood. Da calm mood u were trying 2 create. U can feel dat ur face is literally turning red. Ok..1st of all, She's talkative, which makes it hard 4 u 2 listen 2 Babyface.. It's only gonna take a minute, u think. So she invites u in2 a conversation on politics.. Something that u are so not interested in. U rly feel dat u gonna chew her alive, eat her all up coz u rly had a bad day.. Nxe! At dat moment u desperately wish dat u cld at least receive a call so she could shut up.. Bt i guess, no1 misses u. So u try ur luck with Naledi, u hit her with a callback, She returns it.. Ish.! Wat do u do when u find urself in si2ations like this 1 maar? Mxm.. I guess u stuck with ds momma. Bt y would she choose a backseat vele? Hai! Secondly, She's big. Jah let's call her dat 4 nw.. U realise dat u actually have long legs when 2 more people join u at da backseat.. Now u squashed, u feel like ur hips will crack in a minute. Ur knees are tightly joined. U dnt knw whether u should bend foward or sitback. So wishing dat da woman next 2 u could use some brains & go sit in da front. But no.. She's here 2 stay. U can c how comfortable she is seatd & abt 2 lay her head on ur shoulder coz yadayading 2k all her energy. Off goes da taxi.. O-oh! It's hard 4 u 2 reach in2 ur pockets 2 take out da money so u can pay. & u looking at her like 'it's all ur fault dat i'm struggling 2 take out my money' with so many tongue clicks running in ur mind 'nxa. Mxm. Nxe-xe' It's stuffy dat u had 2 open da whole window, & da air/wind (whatever u call it) be coming in, blowing ryt on ur face, ur nostrils b filled with all da oxygens, C02s, nitrogens & al other gases dat u find in da air. So u shut da window quickly.
& realise when the taxi collides with da 1st hump dat u r nt only squashed bt also swinging. Like da seat is abt 2 come off.. & it's making those funny noises, so annoying..! Will dis day ever end? At dat time u are highly pressed & could pee on urself anytime soon. Da driver is so angry at da humps, which makes ur bladder short tempered. Phew! Ok.. Looks like he's gonna stop by dat garage. Immediately when he does, u gonna get off & go 2 da restrooms. Yay! He finally does. Bt ish.. Having 2 poke 'u knw who', tel her 2 tel da guy sittng next 2 her 2 tel dat other guy 2 tel da lady in front 2 tel dat momma 2 ask dat sisí 2 open da door, so dat da momma cld jump out,4llowd by da model, den Mr ipad... Ish
#fast4ward.
So u decide 2 hold it.
Ish.. Then da traffic cops..
Do these people know wat u going through?

An awful day