Eating Onions Poem by Raj Arumugam

sitting outside my house
enjoying the cool air
and eating a 10-kg sack of onions
doing what is most natural
and doing no one any harm
just eating onions,
one, two, three
onions, skin and all
eating them just like one’d eat apples
one, two, three
I’m accosted by so many individuals
it just surprises me
people can’t leave other people alone
when others are just doing what’s natural and easy
and doing no one any harm
in my case
just eating a sack of onions,10-kg;
you know, just eating onions,
one two, three…



1
so here I ‘m eating onions
and a jogger comes running up to me
and he says,
jumping up and down like a monkey:
Hey! What u do’ng?


and I say:
hey! what does it look like I’m doing?
I’m just eating onions
doing no one any harm…so
buzz off, buddy!


and the jogger
shakes his head
and off he goes
on his jogger’s journey …



2
so here I ‘m eating onions
and a woman with her child
comes up to me
and she says:
excuse me, what are you doing?


oh God! I say,
I’m eating onions;
can’t a man sit outside his home
and go bananas about his onions?
I love my onions, lady, so you could maybe
pick up that little brat of yours
that’s digging into my sack of onions
and be off with you two


and she grabs her child
and off she walks quickly
shaking her head
and I hear her tell her child:
come Sonny;
that man’s crazy!


well, if she wants to give her child
a mis-education,
that’s her problem….



3

so here I ‘m eating onions
and along come a few donkeys
and they stop by me
and they neigh to me:
What are you doing, you donkey?


and I say to them:
look, any donkey can see what I’m doing
minding my own business
doing no one any harm
and eating my onions…


and the donkeys cry in unison:
what a donkey!
and they all trot along…



4
so here I ‘m eating onions
and a politician comes out of his limousine
and he says to me:
Hey, Citizen Ordinary;
what in this up-market
blue ribbon
suburb
are you doing?


hey, I say to the pollie,
listen mate:
you can see I’m eating onions
so that’s quite a senseless question even
for a politician;
so go on now,
go back into your bullet-proof limousine
and I’m sure you’ve got a sack full of problems
like traffic congestion
and bridges to build
and the economy
(I mean of course your personal economy)
and a host of other problems to fix;
so maybe you’d like to move on now…
and leave me to grind my onions
with my teeth…



5
so here I’m eating onions
and I’m interrupted often
by so many busybodies
who just can’t pass along
and leave alone a man who wants to eat
his 10-kg sack of onions;
and so I get to be rude to economists
and lawyers and environmentalists
and fighters and campaigners
and activists and technicians
and dietitians and religious fanatics
and computer specialists and tradesmen
and philosophers
the whole of humanity indeed
who just can’t lighten up
and must take themselves and things
with just too much of gravity



hey, move on you jokers;
I’m just eating onions…




6
so here I ‘m eating onions
and you’ve come along,
dearest most cultured reader -
and I hope you won’t say
something like:
What are you doing? - eating onions like that!
how the whole site smells of onions;
be reasonable and eat one
and leave some for the rest of humanity



look, dearest reader,
if you’d be polite and good
and be fair to a man
minding his own business
doing no one any harm
and eating onions
then you’d just move on
and not worry about me eating onions
and perhaps you’d do your own thing
go to your kitchen and eat garlic or something….
And leave those onions for me!