Ebenezer's Kid Poem by Robert Kirkland Kernighan

Ebenezer Orin he werz a friend of mine at school,
A mighty harnsome fellow an a very decent chap ;
The teacher uster crack us with the same old hickery rule,
And warm our epidermis with the same old cowhide

strap.
We uster eat our lunches from the same old battered pail,

We uster go afishin with the same old ashen rod,
We used to sit an whistle on the same old basswood rail,

An et our stoo for dinner from the same old timer cod.

To-night I got a letter with a postmark strange and foreign,

(It 's seldom that a letter comes my lonely life to cheer),
'Twas signed by one I uster know, by Ebenezer Orin

I had n't seen my comrade old for more 'n twenty year.
He arsked about the boys an girls, with manner light an
bland ;

Bout Suze, Louise and Harriet, bout Jack an Jim an

Sid,
An then ther was a postscript in a lady's flowing hand,

' Enclosed please find a photograph of Ebenezer's kid.'

I cud beat thet Ebenezer at spellin er at writin

At adden up some figures, why, he didn't fizz on me ;
I mostly took the largest share of all the village fightin :

I cud lose him in a foot-race and beat him climb a tree ;
But in the race he 's beat me in the wondrous race of
life

For I am all alone an lost in fog and darkness hid ;
He 's got a happy little home a dainty little wife

Dear me, I think I'm envious of Ebenezer's kid.