Nick Kasparie

(3-30-94 / Quincy, IL.)

Ed the Luckless


I took a couple Tylenol
They said I’d feel no pain at all
But that’s when sweaty, jumping guys
Took my body by surprise

One bounce, then two, then hundreds more
My face grew intimate with the floor
The big fat brutes did more than that
They threw me up, then with a splat
I hit the glass and bounced right back
I thought I'd have a heart attack

Finally, the farce was done
I didn’t care to see who’d won
All I want is Tylenol
And not to be a basketball.

Submitted: Friday, June 28, 2013
Edited: Saturday, June 29, 2013

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