Erasing The Brain Poem by Andrus Cassian

'Are you sure you want to go through with this
there's no turning back after I flip the switch'
I'm sure, I'd rather live without knowing who I am
than dying everyday knowing what happened...
It all happened one after another
it all happened like a plot in a book
but of all people, why did it have to happen to me
so before I erase my brain, I'll illustrate my pain once again
I once had a family, a home to go to
friends, a smile
but it all faded when in slumber my home caught fire
well so did I when I learned my father perished saving me
Should I be grateful, I should but not when I'm the oldest
of 3 and I'm only 9
The little ones, what am I supposed to tell them
that daddy isn't here, he's on vacation
that father isn't here, we have stay here in this shelter
all our misfortune befalls on the fault of me
so I sit here crumbling in guilt while mother falls ill
and my best friend since we were in diapers
gets hit by a car, no drunk driver at the wheel
just a father with harmful means
Now I'm 23, alone with 2 cats and a dog
without parents, picture a Father's day for me...
my siblings, they refuse to talk to me
and I say I don't care
but I shed tears for the lost smiles we used to share
the happiness that will never be repaired
Hey doc, throw the switch...while I pray I rid myself
of the guilty glitch I have in my life