Escape From Memory Poem by Melissa Joy Chesky

I am escaping,
Escaping from this
Memory that confines
Me here,
That keeps me here
Like a starving prisoner,
Starving for...something
In a world of hate.

I need to get out of here,
I am running away from my life,
Running around trying to find an exit sign
To guide me to somewhere better;
So much for a perfect life.

I thrive on anger,
On your anger you take out on me,
The words you say
That pummel me;
Nevermind, those are your fists
Colliding with my stomach,
My head,
My face.

Is this life suffocating me?
Nope,
Those are your fingers
Intertwined on my neck.

Those are your eyes,
Breath-catching eyes,
But not any good way.
Those eyes could
Stop me just by
Themselves.
Those deep brown
Eyes go on forever
Like a bottomless black
Hole.
They glare into
My soul,
Knowing what I
Fear most;
All of my secrets being uncovered
By those eyes.
Watching me squirm inside,
Watching me fade away.

Is it over now?
I dream I
Fall and feel nothing;
Numb to the world left behind.
Nope, no more choking now,
Just some kicking while I'm
Defenselessly lying
On the ground
Looking up towards
The heavens;
If there is one.

I get up,
I get pushed back down,
Like dirt being packed into
The ground,
Small and insignificant.

There's kicking,
But no screaming.
The scream is loud
Nonetheless;
It is making
Me deaf.
It is so loud
Inside of me;
Echoing silently,
Ricocheting in
The walls of my
Body,
My head.

I am the rabbit and your
The fox in
This game we play.

You get closer,
My heart pitter-patters
Faintly;
I know whats about to happen
In this game that
Has gone so awry.

Thanks for making this memory
For me as my childhood,
I thought I couldn't get
More messed up than this,
But no, I guess you proved
Me wrong.

No wonder I'm trying
To escape from this memory.
How about I just cower
In this corner
For a while
In my mind so no one can find me here,
So no one can
Get to me,
To set me off.
To get me into something like this;
I was only trying to defend
Myself,
To make them go away;
So much for that.