Family Portrait Poem by Laurence Overmire

It was so hard to get everybody
Together
At the same time
But finally we set a date and
First of all it rained
My shoes got muddy and
Oh it was a nightmare
Anyway
My husband wears plaid because
That's what he always wears
And my crazy brother Elbert
Shows up in polka dots
Can you imagine the clash
Ohhh! I thought I would die
Fortunately, we forced him to change
Into a black suit and tie left over from my Uncle Art's
Funeral
And as you can see, the picture turned out, well
Not too bad, that's Elbert see
The one with the scowl
But can you imagine how horrible
It would have looked with polka dots and plaid and
Oh!
Why, I wouldn't even be able to show it to people
Much less hang it on the wall
They'd think we were a
Dysfunctional
Family

Or something.


(Previously published in Friction Magazine, Winter 2000, Vol 2, Issue 1)