Treasure Island

Angel Gibbs


Fear


It's this feeling of fear on not finding my way or my path

The fear of being dominated by the past,

The fear of having others know how afraid I truly am,

The fear of knowing no one will be there to help with my plans,

Fears of seeing things blow up right in my face,

and fears of letting that fear cause me not to see things to the end of this journey in time and space.

Submitted: Sunday, January 26, 2014
Edited: Monday, January 27, 2014

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  • Bri Edwards (1/29/2014 10:47:00 PM)

    Angel,
    i like it, but.....
    i have a habit of making suggestions. i hope you don't mind.
    why change from FEAR to FEARS near the end?

    there is one exception where i WOULD use fearS, not fear, in the line:

    and fears of letting that fear cause me not to see things to the end of this journey in time and space.

    i DO like rhymes so i do appreciate rhyming with the last line ..... face/space. BUT the last line is (almost at least) just too long to be comfortable reading with the rest of the much shorter lines. (my opinion of course)

    how about and fear of letting those fears? see that i changed one fears to fear and one fear to fears. i sometimes make many changes before submitting a poem to ph, but even with proofreading (more than once) and changes, i sometimes find out later that my submitted poem could be better.
    maybe you could work on the last line. maybe you could break the last line into TWO shorter lines to fit better with the others.
    thanks for sharing. and, if you really do have those fears, work on defeating them. expressing them in this poem is a start. :) bri (Report) Reply

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