Fear Of Losing What I Want The Most Poem by mona martinez

i'm lost and confuse,
my heart want you,
but it afraid of getting hurt,
and taking a chance,
i'm only with him,
becuz he knows my past,
he knows me,
or maybe not,
but i feel safe,
not happy,
safe that not much will be lost,
if i take this road,
than be with you,
you are amazing,
in every single way,
i feel safe with you,
i feel i can trust you,
i feel you get me,
in ways i've been looking for,
all of this time i'm running around blind,
you get the things,
i don't want to have to explain,
you kind of know by my moods,
how far you can push me,
and kind of when to stop,
why am i with the person i don't want to be?
am i searching for something else?
a mother in law,
that reminds me of mine?
so lost and confuse,
but yet knows what feels right,
yet why am i having to choose,
between that one special person,
that just feels right,
in so many ways,
than that one person,
i don't really feel nothing for?