Five Liner. Remorse Poem by Valsa George

Five Liner. Remorse

Rating: 5.0


She watched the tongues of flame licking the sky
With a shock she saw her life being baked in the pyre
Stirring the embers with a stick
From the ashes and the half burnt wood
She lifted up her charred image to put back life into it

Friday, December 19, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: suicide
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Lyn Paul 19 December 2014

A powerful few lines. There is no going back. We cannot change what has been done. Superb!

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Deepak Kumar Pattanayak 20 December 2014

This is extraordinary and so wonderfully penned in few lines makes it touching indeed.....Valsa......great write as always.....10

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Tirupathi Chandrupatla 20 December 2014

One's life gets baked in the flames created by self. Life can never be put back to its original state. Nicely put in the five liner.

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Akhtar Jawad 23 December 2014

Remorse the title, and the first word of first line-she, restricts the meaning of this poem to a misdeed committed by a woman. The poetess has not made it clear as what the misdeed was. I take it as deception in love, that is faced by most of the women ending in remorse, sometimes being not married and sometimes being married to a wrong man. In any case it's a heart touching poem.................10

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Salini Nair 23 December 2014

.awesome write....i like each line....great madam

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Khalid Saifullah 22 January 2015

An impressive poem..............................10

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Soulful Heart 14 January 2015

rising like a phoenix is what every life teaches us and is expected of survival....i agree with geeta for the exquisite flow of words....

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Geetha Jayakumar 03 January 2015

Superb flow of words. The last line brought all the positivity into the poem. I just loved the line.... She lifted up her charred image to put back life into it. Yes, a beautiful message it carries, one should rise from within even after falling down. Beautiful presentation.

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Daniel Brick 01 January 2015

The language of these five lines is so charged with energy I feel like I have been burned. I recall an Angel placing a burning coal on one of the Hebrew prophet's tongue, instead of scorching his tongue, the burning coal ignited his mind so that he could speak God's truth to the people. Well, my mind was burned by this poem, its brevity being part of that effect.But the brevity made something unclear to me: Was she burning a picture of herself that she rescued from the fire, OR was she burning herself but stepped out of the flames?

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Bri Edwards 26 December 2014

With a shock she saw her life being baked in the pyre ...............just in the nick of time! i WAS getting hungry. She lifted up her charred image to put back life into it ...............she must have pretty strong resolve! ! ! i would probably just walk around town charred, having little ambition for such labors as replacing life. quite iinteresting. a poet's note might be even MORE interesting here. bri :)

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