Flatusaurus Poem by Ted L Glines

Flatusaurus
by Ted L Glines

There once was a creature - passing strange
way before man ever walked this range,
had a puckery mouth - shell like a snail
and a hole in its flexible defensive tail.
Being a wonderful new creation
he defended himself with flatulation,
only one little thing ever made him mad
and that's if you dared to be smelling bad.
Scientists have wondered - what a mystery
why the dinos disappeared from all history
(a massive disease - a comet from space?)
the truth was a much more simple case.
Flatusaurus looked tasty and so nutritious
the dinosaurs thought he looked simply delicious,
they all tried to bite him but they had bad breath
so the dinosaurs found themselves farted to death.


Author's Notes: Okay, so that isn't exactly how the dinosaurs disappeared. I might as well come clean and tell you the true story. Bend down and I'll whisper in your ear. You know that - just about everywhere - they've found all these huge dinosaur bones, but I'll bet you never heard of them finding any dinsosaur poop. Really makes you stop and think, huh? And, remember all those dinosaur pictures? Great big mouths, great big appetites, little bitty brain, and little bitty anus. So they ate and they ate, and they got bigger and bigger and bigger... until they exploded! Tis the truth. Got it from an archeologist hippy dude in the Haight-Ashbury District. Honest Injun.