Font Color=darkvioletmy Life, Or What's Left Of It Poem by Jane Meyer

I was always thought of as happy,
I guess that’s why they didn’t think I’d do it,
But I knew my mom was lying,
I knew her arguments weren’t legit.

I’m back at her house,
After a week with my dad.
Things here have changed, again,
But I didn’t think it could ever get this bad.

Now let me explain something,
It’ll just take a moment.
I wear colorful clothes,
I’m a straight “A” student.

I love my dad,
More than he’ll ever know,
And I hate my mom,
Because she acted like a hoe.

So as you can imagine,
When I’m shipped over here,
And kept away from him,
It causes a pain that’s oh so severe.

Well, I’m back,
In this house of hell,
And the b*tch has nothing,
But new rules to tell.

I can’t call my dad.
I can’t even go upstairs.
She’s ruining my life,
My only protest, silent “unfair”s.

I go up to my room,
Once I’m finally allowed,
And I let out my tears,
Everything suppressed by my mental shroud.

The pain’s too much to bear.
An escaped sob gives me a shock.
I pick up my scissors and a stone,
I sharpen the blade upon the rock.

I find a roll of tape,
And place a piece across my mouth,
For I don’t wish to wake my sis.
Should a scream ever come out.

I take the makeshift blade,
And lay it across my wrist.
I know it could all be over,
With just one little twist.

I know I shouldn’t do it,
Thoughts of “don’t” rush through my head.
But the pain’s too much to bear.
It’d all be gone if I were dead.

I sit there, thinking.
Looking at my hand that holds the knife.
The subject in question,
Is the one to end my life.

I look up to the ceiling,
I know that if I do it, I can’t go back.
I slash down with the blade,
Overwhelming pain; my vision going black.

I wake in the early hours of the dawn,
And I find my wrist is throbbing,
But I realize I’m still alive,
And I once again start sobbing.