For Mel (Villanelle) Poem by Paul Hansford

For Mel (Villanelle)

Rating: 3.2


The one who should have lived has gone so fast.
The old ones, in their dotage, linger on –
they, with no future, live only in the past.

And we who can but sit, dumb and aghast,
scarcely believe that while the sun still shone
the one who should have lived has gone so fast.

Six decades older, surviving to their last
few days or years, together but alone,
they, with no future, live only in the past.

At least she kept on living to the last,
but should have had a future. She has none.
The one who should have lived has gone so fast,

and they, for whom so many years have passed,
are unaware that one they loved is gone.
They, with no future, live only in the past,

mark time until the final trumpet blast,
and never know the respite they have won.
The one who should have lived has gone so fast.
They, with no future, live only in the past.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Katherine Sessor 01 May 2008

So sad but so beautiful aswell. It's so deep and brings a tear to my eyes. Great Job! I love it! =)

1 1 Reply

Within the set structure of the villanelle you have written this poem successfully and poignantly. The structured rhyme form and refrain, believe me, gives it so much more definition. It is so very creative and so very beautiful... 10 Karin Anderson

2 2 Reply
Black Mendilouche 22 June 2009

An obviously very moving subject which reminds me of the death of a daughter of a friend this week last year. That aside, I admire the structure of your poem, and like the fact that you carry one line over between one stanza and the next - I didn't even know you were 'allowed' to do that, so it has inspired me to experiment, thankyou!

1 3 Reply
Susan Jarvis 15 May 2009

The form fits this philosophical and heartrending poem perfectly. Life's injustice shouts from the repeating lines, leaving the raw pain of loss burning in the reader's mind long after the final word of this truly admirable villanelle.

1 0 Reply
Danny Reynolds 06 July 2008

I dread that I should ever feel this pain, but know you have eloquently questioned the unfairness of fate's careless finger. Danny.

0 1 Reply
Raynette Eitel 07 May 2008

You show a mastery of the villanelle here, Paul...and it seems quite appropriate for the pain which comes in waves within this wonderful poem. I shall add it to my favorites. Raynette

1 0 Reply
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