Forgotten Poem by Michelle Hanes

I sat there forever
waiting for you
cursed to wait
for a member of
my family to find
me trapped in eternal
peril until discovered and released

I prayed for a cousin
to just come by or
for a aunt or uncle
to come peek in but
not so much as a peek
from them to show they
cared, didn't help me survive

Not even so much as a
call or letter, no contact at
all, so nothing to sooth
my aching nerves and heart
that are suffering in my prison
of eternal darkness, laying forgotten,
waiting for someone to appear

I felt like I was detached
from my physical body, as
a way to cope with the pain,
my spirit looking and hoping
for a way to escape or a
place to escape to, but it
shan't was given opportunity

I told myself, repetitively,
I shall survive, I will get
through the pain of this
But even while trying to
convince myself of it
I didn't even believe it,
so I failed at it, miserably

I waited for what felt like
my lifetime, three times over
Laying forgotten in my cursed home
When the shining light, the rays
of the precious sun, shone in from
the world, blinding me but satisfying
after being the eternal darkness and misery

It burned my eyes but I continued to watch it
In fear it would stow away from me again
It seared my face but I told myself
that I shan't turn away from it
I knew it would leave scars to never
heal but I stood there, tall and strong
wanting to truly know why it was there

The light dimmed down and there standing
in the doorway was his face, and there he was
just as if nothing had ever happened,
I felt fury and anger at this but I pushed
it all aside and let joy and glee fill me
Then, I was too happy too truly care anymore
Just happy he was there

You stood there smiling with
a smile almost as wide as
the arms you had stretched and
held out at me, which I
gayly ran into, with
my face being brighter
than a million fireflies
in the night sky

We hugged for another eternity
it seemed, never wanting
to let go again, in fear that
we would be torn apart again
only this time forever, When we
did break apart, we looked into each others
eyes then snapped back together like magnets

You were north, I was south and
opposites always attract, with
us we might as well been stuck
with glue, but for us we
didn't the glue to put us
together, like a jigsaw puzzle
we were two connecting pieces

We finally broke apart again, and
I felt something on my face
Wiping it away, I could see
on my fingertips that they were
tears rolling down my cheeks
dripping off my chin, glistening
before they splash onto the floor

He wipes them away and asks me
whats wrong, why do I cry?
I just shake my head at a loss
for words, and bury my head
in his chest, looking for a way
too describe what I feel, listening
to his heartbeat, the slow beat soothing my nerves

I finally lift my head up and
wipe away the tears off my face
and out of my eyes, I smile at
him and my smile grows bigger,
seeing his face, a similar image
to my firefly bright face,
that continues to shine bright

Though not a perfect mirror image,
We were close enough, of course
because how could a father and
daughter look completely different?
We shared a pair of big ears and
a nice chin and some could say
I had his big forehead too

As the tears finally disappear and
the smile slightly fade as our
faces tire from holding them
We sit on the cursed couch of my
cursed home as being apart for
so long resulted in a lot of
catching up to do...

We, as if in sync, open our
mouths at the same time and laugh
at this, then he opens his again
and back and forth we then
go, our thoughts, memories,
and other events that happened to
each other, flowing out like waterfalls

A year is a long time alone, and
a couple of them is even worse,
So we had plenty to talk about
Yet at one point, my mouth was
having trouble forming the words
my brain wished to be created
as if it was full of cotton

It might have been the shock
I went through in seeing him
so suddenly, but I was over that
at that point, It might have been
the fact that I hadn't had anyone
to talk to in that cursed home
aside from my shadow and the spiders...

But I knew in my heart that it was
the fact that I truly had nothing to
say to him verbally, that the only
way to talk to him and convey
my feelings and emotions
was through my face and expressions
But to be left unspoken


The things we wished to say,
in the difficult art of
our eyes, were everything
we could say, our dreams
crushed as the were and
nightmares that thrived,
among the emotions and feelings

What it was like to be
forgotten by a loved one,
cast aside for later,
To be thrown like a rag
doll, but treated like a book,
where once it is read, it is
useless unless you like the story and read it again

But even then, you can only
reread it so many times...
You put it away and forgotten
it lays, on the bottom shelf
it stays, to be cast away from
the mind and for the mind to
think of other things it likes...

The book is left alone and
it sits there, feeling unloved,
unwanted and unwelcome now...
In the home, it soon feels
like it deserved to be forgotten
and then sits there in silence,
Wallowing in sorrow...

The book's emotion can be used
to describe mine, though only
of fraction of it, the rest of
it filled with a mixture of
many other emotions but they
could not be described and said
aloud for then, they wouldn't be understood

No, the only way for him to genuinely
understand is to hold my gaze
To let my glare be a window of
what's going on inside of me
To see the emotions boiling and
bubbling inside of me,
laying in wait to be released

But though the weakened smiles
are maintained, he refuses to meet
my gaze and won't allow me to open
the window, whether it's because
he doesn't want to look in or doesn't
want me to look into his window,
He still lowers his eyes to the ground

But I do know some emotions he has
from his posture and body language,
I can see guilt in his slouch
And I see shame in his line of
sight pointed at the ground along
with his saddened expression,
All within the second, I detect this

We both know he has done wrong,
that I suffered because of it,
Yet we stay silent
We both know he is the one at fault
and I was forgotten,
Yet we continue to sit there
in dead silence, in an awkward moment...

The initial joy and glee has
disappeared with awkwardness
and fury replacing it, the
anger I had pushed away when
I first saw him, coming back
up like vomit with a vengeance,
And it's all aimed at him

I could only guess that my face
reflected this because he was
looking at it as if understanding
how I felt which insulted me,
Then as to break the ongoing silence
and tension that had been building
I ask, Where has he been?

He look at me but not at my brown
eyes as I glare at his hazel ones,
with an intensity so great even I
could feel it, I look at him as if
daring him to lift his gaze and
meet mine, then when he remains
silent I repeat the question

He pauses then gives the simple
answer of, Oh...around..
Why haven't you visited me at all?
I've been very...very busy, he answers.
Busy? I think, To busy to come see
you forgotten daughter? The rages starts to
build up, I keep these thought to myself though,

I don't speak them, just let them live in my mind
They thrive and flourish, feeding on my misery and pain,
Yet, even with it all building up, I was split,
Part of me wanted my rage to be let out
on him and the world, so they all pay and
the other wanted to hold it in from them
I was so deep in thought, my body went on auto-pilot...

I asked, he answered and while I thought, the
cycle continued on in reality, but then
He asked a question that snapped me back to reality.
I thought, He dare ask that? He has the audacity to ask
that? When he asks...So..How have you been lately?
My mind overloaded and I was too deep in reality
at that point, just because of the question,

My thought swam in my mind, most
of them furious, with the fury of
a women scorned, in a girl's mind
How have I been? Trapped in that house?
Cursed to be in that house, drowning in
my own nightmares and sorrow? Was I
supposed to answer just fine?

Either way, I don't know why
but that's what I answered, I
acted like everything had been
fine and he relaxed, Why I did that
I don't know, to keep him happy?
to prevent a war and keep peace?
I do not know...

But this continued on until he
left again, and next time he arrived
this event repeated again...and again
and again...until I just stopped...
Next time he arrived, mid-way I kicked
him out then the magic started...

The sorrow turned to happiness
The misery turned to joy
The wrong turned to right
Everything became clear
I felt at peace and still am
I realized he was the weight on my
shoulders and once lifted, I could see hope clearly again...