Free Turd Poem by Ramona Thompson

Parody of the classic rock song Free Bird

If I crap this out today
Will I still be so damn constipated tomorrow?
For I have to know if it's ok for me to go right now
'Cause there's been so much pain that I've been through tonight
....but if I keep it here inside of me
I wonder
Will it all remain the same?
'Cause I want it to be a free turd now and this turd I feel is my fault
I'm to blame for this smelly shame
I'm to blame for this smelly shame
I'm to blame for this smelly shame
Lord knows, I should never have eaten that last piece of chocolate fudge layer cake

Say bye-bye smelly, it's not been a sweet love
Oh God how I wish how I was feeling right now I could change
Please don't let it tear me apart inside too badly
Even through the lord knows I am to blame
I'm to blame for this smelly shame
I'm to blame for this smelly shame
I'm to blame for this smelly shame
Lord knows, I should never have eaten that last piece of chocolate fudge layer cake

Lord, I'm so ashamed
Cos I know I'm to blame
So won't you please get this piece of crap outta me?
Won't you please free my turd?
Yeah.....!

2008 Ramona Thompson