Freedom In Sadness Poem by Amanda Houston

silence the beating of my heart
I pull back these tears and I swallow this sadness
this pain inside me not allowed to break free
whats expected from me is impossible to do
I'm not allowed to miss someone like you
how dare me to think
anyone would care how painful this is to me
a strong young woman
how could I have been so wrong
no time for explanation just turn around move on
for better or for better
but gone at my worst
I gave you my heart what else could you want
but still not enough
when I needed you the most
you had already let go
I was holding on to nothing
you didn't want me
all I want is to just cry
and scream at you why cant you love me
instead I hold back my anger and swallow my words
I needed to be dragged away from you
I kicked and clawed
I could never do it on my own
I guess you always knew that didn't you
so in return for that painful freedom from you
from that misery I called love
I have to swallow my sadness and not ever return
You! You never loved me
and to prove that you turned your back
didn't i give you all I had
why couldn't that be enough
I'm no longer allowed to cry for you my love
its a privilege I just don't have
press on an move forward not looking back
for how can I love someone who no longer exists