Sandra Brennan (08/07/65 / Omaha Nebraska)

I always hated that speech
The “You’re a nice woman, but I don’t think
We’re right for each other.” Getting dumped speech.
I actually admire the men who have the guts to give it.
Better than those who never call back,
Who just take what pleasure they can get
Then disappear like rats in the night.
I’ve heard it to many times,
And each time I feel something inside me
Go hard, and cold.
I wonder what happened to the warmhearted woman
That use to dwell in this body.
Wonder when she became so cynical and jaded.
Wonder when she stopped believing in happily ever after
And just accepted fly by night men as all she deserved.
I don’t really like being that woman.
Don’t like the voice inside my head that says
“Don’t get your hopes up” every time I meet a man.
I remember being a twenty year old bride,
Thinking I’d be mated forever with my one true love.
But-he wasn’t it, never was.
So now I just keep searching,
Wondering where the hell this other soul is,
This person who I’m meant to be with.
I’m beginning to think, he isn’t out there at all.
I wonder how much more disappointment
My heart can take,
Before it freezes completely
And stops beating.