Fully Alive Poem by Brenda Caldera

This desire of destruction
Never knowing if you will fall or still spin
This amusement of crying
Which finds my tears in such nonsense

The pain that flows through my veins
This darkness that hides in my blood
The frustration that crawls up my skin
Which still lingers inside of me

Drowning in my own despair
Looking for a way out
But somehow I always in up in the same place
Which leaves me here to die

I try to survive in this world
Searching for one simple answer
I climb up this illusion
And try repeat this process of my evolution

With my sorrow disguise
Still breathing with no holes
I tear up this feeling
Which I struggle to let out

Surviving this suicidal thoughts
That surrounds my being
This obsession that I can’t control
The depression that lives here in my shame

As I look beyond on what I see
Realizing that life is hard to survive
With a few bumps and bruises
Here I am still standing fully alive