Good Beginning Poem by Lonnie Hicks

She did not speak of it but I knew
the words she'd say if she could;
it was in the way she moved
body movements which showed anticipation mixed with a fear of disappointment and perhaps even failure.

It was as if she had grown weary of watching Hope Float
only to see it descend into Sorrows Nest.

It is the thing most
women dare not speak of
not ask for
yet pray for
but I knew
I knew
the signs;
the wavering
in the body heart
the body which
had not
known full fulfillment
and longed for it
craved it,
wondering what was wrong with her
hoping this our marriage night would herald
it's arrival
in her loins
if it did not happen she have to retreat
once more into
that disappointment
which sometimes whispered;

'What is wrong with me
why can't I give
or be sparked
to that last
mile,
beyond that
last trembling
which the other girls spoke of? '

She was in this her maiden voyage still
unsure, if she ever had
or had not
so vague it's definition
and books often
lacked the pages
which described her experience.

So she looked to me
to maybe, maybe
push things along
that way
just a little;
if not
then it would sad eyes again
for her
and I
I would know
and my knowing
would by yet another hurdle
uncrossed, unrealized.

So it was that marriage night
her
first experience at 29
and I 30
with my own version of virginity
not having known
true love
and hoping it would happen
with her that night
such that we two
slow-talked our way
into it
side by side
uncertain
with an uncertain
child like groping.

But much, much later
we both were able
laying side by side
enveloped in that certain bliss.
for the very first time,
she hers
and I mine
the two of us
complimented
off to
a very very
good beginning
on our marriage bed.