Hairy Bikers Cook Off Poem by Paul Reed

Dave Myers and Si King have just taken stock
Of their programme of cooking against the clock
For their ‘Cook Off’ series has just ended
With many pans fried and mixtures blended

The studio audience gave it a blast
They howled with derision if contestants weren’t fast
And shouted a little too loud perhaps
When the time limits were about to elapse

With celebrity chefs the fun levels rose
Cooking favourite dishes they had a few goes
But it was the families who strained and competed
Who added the edge as their fates teetered

On the brink of elimination, or worse
As their pans boiled over and they started to curse
As they realised they were going to be late
‘We can only judge what you put on the plate! ’

They were challenged to make a quick festive feast
They battled the clock but that was the least
Of their worries, as their faces turned glum
The ‘7 minute supper’ was still a challenge to come

We saw undercooked rice and meat almost raw
Such was the pressure of time that knocked at their door
And Health & Safety wrote a letter not so tender
‘Someone might lose their arm in a blender! ’

But all emerged unscathed at the end of the day
The pots are washed and the pans put away
With not one accident over which to linger
Everyone still has all their fingers

So the next time you’re in the kitchen remember
Forget the Bikers rush in December
Forget the clock and be ever so
Safe as you take your time and cook really slow