'Hardtimes' 1 Poem by Shanell Howell

I wish i could go to a place I don't know
Where people do think and people don't drink
A place that is quiet and people are polite
Somwhere that I'm not told what to do
Because some people like me as I am & I do to.

A place where people don't fight
And stay up all night
Because with me that sort of life just isn't right
Somtimes I wish I were dead but...

I have my two boys to think of instead.
My boys mean alot to me so you see
I have to go on but, not fit to a tee
I've worked and worked and worked so hard
I'd come home at night so very tired.

I've tried to live with men of this sort
But things always fell back
And we ended up in court
I hated like Hell to get
Pushed slapped and beat
And most of all be called
A lady of the street.

I wished and wished and wished
That things would be right
And I wouldn't have to stay
Up all night and fight.

It would be nice to come home at night
To a loving man who's not drunk
A didn't want to stay up and fight
I don't like the drinking and fighting
Because when we'd fight
I'd get very uptight.

And that kind of life isn't right
Now if a man really loved a woman
With a life of this sort
He'd really understand
And we wouldn't ent up in court.

I've been married three times
I'm ashamed to say.
I've also peushed
My family far away.

My mother and father
Won't proudly say
See my oldest daughter
Oh, by the way.

But they would only
Push me aside
Because i didn't abide
By their wishes.

But I really understand now
What they were trying to say
When I only gave it thought
That they were pushing me away.

I've lived with men
I loved very much
But it's hard as hell
To live a life of their such.

Cause they just wanted
To drink beer and wine
And they never did think
Or want to go out and dine.

They would spend
All their money on booze
Even if the children
Needed new shoes.

They didn't care for anyone
But theirself and
When they'd think they'd act as if
I were a want-not on a self.

I dream someday
To have a life
Where I won't be threatened
With a gun, skillet or knife

Alife of pleasure
With the that I love
If not, then i'll fly away
As I were a white dove.

So I won't have to face
The problems in life
But if I have to
I'll take my own life.

But, as for now
My children would be alone
So I really have to provide
For them a nice home.

But not of drinking
And fighting in court
But a life of dreams
And things of that sort.