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Freewill Amon

(18th Sept 1987)

Heaven Against Me

I've always wanted to shout a loud hallelujah
But I get weakened by the reason of been frustrated
I've expected a miracle in so many church programs
But they came to an end leaving me feeling cheated.

I've managed to thoroughly clean the church with the scorching pain in my hip
But I see people take blessings I thought I should've had
Many times I've been to church to get refreshed and happy
But I finally left feeling disappointed and sad.

I've fasted and prayed to get rid of the disease that plague me
But I've been hearing testimonies of people who did nothing to get their healing
Hands have been laid on me to receive the Holy-spirit
But I'm still only able to pray with my understanding.

I look like a youth with bubbling blood
But I feel like the weak old mamas and papas
I've always opened my heart to the Word of The Lord
But I still wake up everyday seeking answers.

I've always burned to win souls for Christ
But circumstances keep thwarting my effort
I've been believing God to treat my case through the pastor
But what I get is 'tell your neighbour...! '

I've been carrying people's burdens on my head
But rarely anyone, including the brethren, care about me
They want me to be involved in every given responsibility
But none of them care if I have the strength and ability.

I've broken through doors of faith for a miracle;
To get rid of symptoms like the vibrating pain all over my joints
I've tried to let them see how hard I've struggled
But they still think I've never made a point

With all the 'propered' asses I've seen around me
I've wanted to get a sexual-healing
Uhuh! What a man to do? !
Heaven have left me; I'm hurting! ..

I've given up on myself and on every man
Now I'm listening; Lord I want to hear you speak!
You said the righteous will possess the land!
I'm calling on you as I kneel on my knees!

I'm 100% sure that the world is against me
But I don't know what heaven is saying- I feel so lonely
I'm so much troubled that I don't care about any other thing
And it's still a wonder to me if heaven is against me.

Submitted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Edited: Thursday, February 14, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

I've done so much for God and for His sake, but why I still don't have my mere health is a big confusion to me. I am for Christ, I'm born-again, but I don't no what heaven thinks about me. I've craved for spiritual gifts and physical gifts, but I never got any. My life is in shambles.

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