Hemingway's Bizarre Dream: The Oldman And The Fog,1st.Episode Poem by ahmed khaled

Very exciting, and very bizzare. Just like the tittle. Kind of confusing, but finally made it through the maze. Great poem(:

Your words are art of deception......great.....

a great poem, your poetry always makes the reader think.

It's so amazing, , , , , , , , , , thou art an artisan of words! ! ! ! Really wonderful poem! ! ! ! top marks! ! !

we hear the old sound of fear with... when a loud sound of suddenly_stopped car.. engine, , .. awakened the oldman, to find nothing.. but his warm place,

All happiness with me to find any one doing his best to produce some sort of objective comments besides the subjective ones, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , with all extreme respect i welcome your fine notes but bear in mind, , , , , , , , , , , , , , dear friend brian that any ceative artistic work must pass through, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , three lines no matter if, intersected, these three lines are, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , THE MENTAL.......................................................................................... THE SENTIMENTAL................................................................................. THE EXPERIMENTAL.............................................................................. alot, in thanks YOUR FRIEND PHDAHMEDKHALEDT

Ahmed, thanks for making me aware of your poem. I found it amusing and interesting. The concept is a fresh one, and, unlike so many poems, this ends well. Fifth line might do with a verb. Line fourteen 'against both' unnecessary. How about: 'they made an agreement/to have a battle between them'? Think you need to tinker a little with elements of how fog and man exchange names but should not be too difficult to set right. Really like the poem's lightness of tone. This is an 'airy' concept and a weightier treatment would have killed it. Hope these suggestions and comments are of some use to you. Best from B.E.P.

when a loud sound of suddenly_stopped car.. engine, , .. awakened me, to find nothing.. but my warm place, shining screen, in front, and your poem, bizarre fun.

sea or fog or iceberg...always within or between man n life...dear la hemingway!

very good, you weave in and out of the mind well. good poem!