Her Poem by Mike Farren
Her
He sit's at home and think's about her
He want's to tell her how he feel's but can't handle the pressure
He think's about her smile and her beautiful face
Everyday, and pray's to GOD that she feels the same
He can't control these feelings he has for her
For if he could, it wouldn't be toward's any other
He say's her name in his mind, and thinks about her all the time
and say's to himself, GOD i wish that she was mine
He doesn't want to cross the line, so he wait's for just the right time
Those three little word's he does not like to say, he must say and he knows this one day
So as he sit's here in the moonlight, and think's about her all night
Even though he does not know for sure, he still has faith and believe's with all his might
He hopes that she feel's the same and than say's goodnight.
Mike, it's my pleasure to read your poem and comment on it. I agree with what Wilkie has said. But for a begginer this is a great poem and i see you have a great potential. This is a very good poem, and keep reading lots of poetry, which will help you to improve your skill. Nice job Mike. Peace, Arsiema
Thank you for asking my opinion, Mike. It's a good first draft. Check you use of ('s) it's incorrect in many places. Only use a capital G for God. Anything more is not good form. There are several places where you repeat the same thought and you should remove them. It will make for a tighter poem. Not bad, keep writing; it's the way we get better as poets and be sure to read a lot. Have a great Fourth of July. mfwilkie
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 5:54:52 AM # 1.0.0.1119
yes i agree with the first commenter and the second as well... youve got potential and i liked this better than your last one.