Higher Calling Poem by Ima Ryma

The cardinals met with the pope.
'God has just given me a call -'
'A good news / bad news kind of scope.'
'First, the good news will please us all.'
'The growth rate of going to hell'
'Has been on a steady decline.'
'Heaven expansion plans go well.'
'Purgatory meets each deadline.'
'Here on Earth, the reports look good.'
'Born again sales are on the rise.'
'Scandals have eased in the priesthood.'
'The stats on prayer have hit new highs.'

'Now the bad news - oh the pity.'
'God - she called from Salt Lake City.'