Chermaine Cheng

Rookie (24May1995 / Singapore)

Hollow


Scarred heart
Burnt heart
Hollow heart
Rid of all promises,

Healed my heart
Helped my heart
Filled my heart
With all of his sweet promises,

Hopeful heart
Happy heart
Loved heart
Survived on those promises,

But beating heart
Tainted heart
Hurt his heart
Broken promises,

Regretful heart
Reformed heart
The same heart
Kept remaining promises,

His tainted heart
His harmed heart
His mistrusted heart
Left empty promises,

Hollow mind
Hollow soul
Hollow heart
For which his hollow promises,

Left me shattered in pieces.

Submitted: Tuesday, February 16, 2010

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  • Rookie Denise Yong (2/19/2010 10:31:00 AM)

    I think, that the poem can be better written if you vary the scheme a litte more. You don't have to stick to 'heart/heart/heart/promises'. This can bore the reader after a while.

    Also, it's a little too ambiguous this way if you are trying to express a story of a broken heart here. Still, commendable effort on getting the theme across-awesome imagery as well. The sense of despair, grief, yadayada is very much present. Good work!

    &I hope to see more of your poems soon. (Report) Reply

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