Holy Crap Poem by Randy Johnson

(This is a fictional poem)

A bunch of punks stole my glasses.
I tried very hard to kick their asses.
But without my specs, I can't see.
They beat the holy crap out of me.
Please don't ever try to fight five people at once.
Or like me, you'll be in a wheelchair for months.
They kicked my ass and now I can't see or walk, what am I going to do?
My food has to be put in a blender because without teeth, I can't chew.