Home Improvement Can Be Criminal Poem by Sonny Rainshine

He was arrested for hitting the nail on the head.
The plaintiff, a 2 and 1/4 inch (7d)
blunt diamond point with a counter-sink,
was said to have had a history of litigious behavior.
As samples from the nail were found
on both the hammer and on the defendant's fingernails,
he was forced to plead guilty
and forfeit his Home Depot credit card.
When interviewed by the press, he responded:
'I shoulda used a staple gun.'
The reporter backed away
upon hearing the word 'gun.'