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Dozie Wogu

Rookie - 65 Points (7 December / Warri Nigeria)

Hope


I know that one day I will transform
From the corruptible form
That one day I will be reformed
To the incorruptible form
Amid this world of failure
I will continue to hope and lure
Amid this world of turmoil
I will keep the hope burning with my oil
Hope here and now
Even though I cannot eat now
Hope beyond the grave
Even though I go to the grave
Eternal hope
That I have to believe
That one day I will live
To see Christ my Hope

Submitted: Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Edited: Tuesday, October 02, 2012

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

The faith in seeing Jesus a hope that burns withing my heart

Comments about this poem (Hope by Dozie Wogu )

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  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (12/30/2009 1:47:00 AM)

    That I have to believe
    That one day I will live
    To see Christ my Hope

    I hope you see Christ right now, he's there in your neighbour, always. Good write (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Beauty Philosophy (12/29/2009 7:48:00 AM)

    A poem which reflects your strong determination to go beyond obstacles and make of Hope your guide... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 154 Points Dr.subhendu Kar (12/28/2009 4:02:00 PM)

    will keep the hope burning with my oil
    Hope here and now
    Even though I cannot eat now
    Hope beyond the grave, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , wonderful write by imagery and metaphor, utterly introspective,10++, thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Prashant Shaurya (12/28/2009 12:06:00 AM)

    a poem revealing your pain yet hows that you are so sanguine..
    brilliantly written brother...
    regards and love
    prashant (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Lady KrimZen (12/27/2009 1:30:00 AM)

    A simple, yet effective poem.
    Your choice of words in this poem is great.

    One thing I picked up was a simple grammatical error:
    ' I know that one I will transform' - should it be 'I know that one day I will transform'?

    To expand on this point, I was thinking, you could simplify this even further by removing a few words:

    'I know that I will transform,
    From the corruptible form; -
    That I will be reformed
    To the incorruptible form...'


    I also noticed that this poem can be arranged into Stanzas of 4 (quatrains) . Maybe that is something you can think of maybe changing in this poem.

    Another point I would like to address is that this, I believe, should be a poem to be read aloud. To make that possible, you should think about punctuating this poem.
    The punctuation can help create/build up mood and atmosphere in the poem and increase the overall effect of the poem upon the reader.

    If you do not mind, I have written up a quick, sketchy edit which includes my ideas on how you can change/improve this poem. It should also gives you a better idea about what I mean by Punctuation and Poem Structure.


    I know that I will transform,
    From the corruptible form;
    That one day, I will be reformed,
    To the incorruptible form.

    Amid this world of failure,
    I will continue to hope and lure;
    Amid this world of turmoil,
    I will keep the hope burning, with my oil.

    Hope here and now; -
    Even though I cannot eat now;
    Hope beyond the grave; -
    Even though I will go to the grave.

    Eternal hope,
    That I must believe;
    That one day I will live,
    To see Christ, my Hope.


    I hope that gives you some idea on how to approach the Stanza Structure and Punctuation idea that I raised early.


    In conclusion, a good poem and a worthy read.
    Keep up the great work.

    PS: Hope you do not mind the lengthy critique. (Report) Reply

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