Horseradish Poem by gershon hepner

On Passover it’s somewhat faddish
for Jews to eat some horseradish
in order to fulfill the rule
of eating bitter herbs. It’s cool
to eat horseradish neat, but Jews
decreasing sharpness with a ruse,
add to the horseradish a cond-
iment of which they are most fond.
It’s called haroset, thus alli-
erating with horseradish, and
although it doesn’t make it bland,
it does prevent some tears when eating.
By adding sweetness Jews are cheating
the bitter rationale, of course,
but horseradish could kill a horse
if eaten neat, and they’re survivors.
On Passover they can’t drink Chivas,
the Regal drink that would be great––
till Pesah’s over they must wait––
to wash down horseradish, and since
they cannot, they are forced to wince
a little, and to shed some tears
while eating horseradish. Three cheers
for those who do, for some cop out,
and cast on horseradish some doubt,
with lettuce their alternative,
consumed while they’re discernative
of tiny treifah insects. I,
observant Jews who do this, cry
as much as I do when I eat
horseradish, it’s true, not neat,
but with haroset, not a quitter
regarding herbs described as bitter,
though those who eat it with their carp
know it’s not bitter, just most sharp.

12/7/09