Alessandra Liverani (Wollongong, Australia)

Officer, who is this you have brought before me today
Your worship, it is a prisoner who tried to get away
Oh indeed, and what did this villainous rascal do?
He skipped the cigarette he normally has on the hour of two

This is absolutely preposterous, it could start a dangerous precedent
Why, he could then refuse the four and the six and cause a dangerous accident
How dare you think that you can skip a cigarette any time you please
Don't you realise that forever and ever, even after you acquire a wheeze

You must smoke them on and on, never missing a single fag
You must inhale them deeper and deeper, ever so deeper the drag
So deep infact, that the fumes will reach right down to your toes
We always know if you try to cheat, believe me, 'cos it shows