Hypochondriac Poem by Joe Hughes

I've been to see you doctor,
Just twenty times this month,
You said I'm hypochondriac
But I've got a noisy grunt!

I've got a tail that's growing,
Ten inches is its size.
My ears are getting pointed,
I've got elongating eyes!

My feet are turning pawlike,
My nails are now long claws.
My body hair has grown so thick,
My teeth won't fit my jaws!

Last night I felt romantic,
Tried to kiss my wife in bed,
But kissing didn't seem to work -
I barked at her instead!

I've got to tell you doctor,
I've gone off proper food,
Instead I chew on bones all day,
Some people think I'm rude!

What's that you said, good doctor?
It's not a GP I should get.
You think I need to go and see
Your frend who is a vet!