I Am Broken Like My Father Forever? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Poem by Hadyn Rodriguez

Theirs not a day that i do not think bout you or what happened long ago.
You seem so close to me even though your so so far from me.
I wanna get down on my knees and beg God Please, to give you back.
It's all to confusing for me. I still love you even after you hurt me so bad that it will never heal. i just wish you would realize it. I never asked you for much, but I sure as hell didn't ask you to touch me. It's my fault you told me and i deserve what you did to me. I'm the one who didn't do as you said and didn't listen when i was supposed to.But it wasn't directed towards you. You mean the world to me even after what you did. I forgave you and then mom took me away from you for what happened that night and now you have to live without me for the rest of your life. You need to be taught a lesson all the time when you threw me up against the wall that's what you told me. All i have to do is close my eyes and it replays in my head every second of every day. I do not know if its a good thing that your not in my life or a bad thing. Guess i will never know. I took your abuse and you touching my body. Was it better that mom took me away or would it have been better if you went to prison for what you did. I think will this nightmare end and will i ever be happy. So much has happened since that horrible day but what sucks is what you did has messed me up so bad that mom does not know how to help me. She hates the things i do and hates how much pain i am in all the damn time. She knows for what you did i am and will not be the same again. I have a huge whole in my heart that will never be complete no matter how hard i try. I still smell the alcohol from your breath and your hands all over my body. It makes me sick on how i will never recover and i cry and scream begging god to help me and all i get is silence. you have shattered me and my soul. It hurts my mom that no matter what happened i will always love you, your my dad even though you hurt me so bad. You will always be my daddy and i will always be your babygirl even if were apart and never in each others lives again. I love you forever daddy