I Battled Me A Renascence Poem by Seshat Nibada

I saw and heard, and knew at last
The Who and How of all I’ve loved
Lay open to my probing sense

My soul, stricken with a heart
So cleft, to the core, to the lips of dawn
With more optimism and regret

Than anyone else seemed to possess
I saw and felt, and heard at last
Myself give up for the sickening health

Of desires that rocked my body’s truth
All sin was my sweet sinning
All atoning my own sacrifice

I held the weight in my palms, loins, spirit
With every greed and a lot of lust
I crave relief, but it didn’t come –

I felt the gaze and moan of every creature thence
I saw and heard, and knew at last
The Who and How of all I’d been

And crying where crying answers met
With all the compassion that I was
I suffered death in my heart, but did not die.