I Dare You To Call This Poem A Stinker........[my Poetry; 'Good' Vs 'Bad' Poems? ; Horror; Humor] Poem by Bri Edwards

I've written poems in my past I did not like very much,
and I've written some others I thought had just the RIGHT touch …….
of intelligence and cleverness, with maybe humor or horror, and usually rhyme.
Now, tell me, Reader: "Have I done a great job, or what, THIS time? "

E=mc(squared) , and, of strangers, we should at times beware;
don't step into a snowstorm with wet hair; in love and war, all things are fair.
2+2=4; when leaving horse barn, don't forget to shut the door;
each day finish at least one chore; when mad, count to 10 beFORE... (speaking) .

Where could I have left my eyeglasses? To lose them I most surely dread.
Could they be in the medicine cabinet? Oh, good Lord, they're on my head.
When trying to live peaceably with your husband or wife,
saying "I'm sorry" or "You're forgiven" can help to cut down on marital strife.

The hands of time are moving fast; your fate is sealed; the die is cast.
When you're home alone at night, don't let a strange noise give you a fright.
Keep on reading the book or chatting on the Internet; your time has not come….
NOT JUST YET. ……
BUT when alarm is set and you've pulled up the cover, then a grisly death, around you, will hover.
There's NO chance that in the morning you'll be alive. Instead you'll be cut into pieces……five.
Your blood will seep through a floor board hole, and drip down into a kitchen bowl.

Don't stir the oatmeel four mor than twenty minutts.
Kik the pitbul befour it dares to bite yoo.
Remember to tak extendded lunche brakes evon tho yoo are newest employey.
Yoo will bee ok if yoo run fast enuff in frunt of aproching cars.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she was bored.
What did the blonde say to the two policemen? …………..Oh damn, I don't remember the end to this joke.
How many Pollacks does it take to change a light bulb? Two, I think.
The skunk said "hi" to the elephant, and the elephant said "boo! "

A California winter can be much less harsh than one in New York.
Here, in places, there's so little snow, you can shovel it with a spoon.
Here I may need an umbrella, but I would rarely need a boat,
while, in a New York winter, I might want a scarf, warm hat, and jacket.

(Dec.2012)