I Deny You Poem by Dr Kamran Haider Bukhari

A piece of bread made me deny You
When I was hungry for many days
And I was offered left-over food
By an atheist
He gave me an option
To choose between Bread and You
And I preferred food…

I can’t pretend
I can’t lie
But I did that
Because I was hungry
I am really very sorry
Though this sorry seems so meaningless
I am not an agnostic
Though I ask frustrating questions
But it is only to make my faith stronger
Still I denied You
I did that to fulfill my appetite
To satisfy my instinctive craving
O’ God
I remember
I did that more than once…

I am so sorry
Most of the times
I prefer my natural needs
Over You
I can’t do that
I don’t want to deny You again and again
What should be done?
How can You make me love You?
When I am not good for You
Forgive me
I am not like You asked me to be
I apologize for being so rude
While You are always so gracious and benevolent
I don’t deserve You
I am not good for You
If possible
Do forgive me…


July 27,2008