Raj Arumugam


I Depress You, Don'T I? - Poem by Raj Arumugam

I depress you, don't I?
You are so bubbly, cheerful, smooth with your words,
you make conversation always as easily
as a well-oiled engine hums;
open-mouthed; sparkle-eyed;
exuberant with a pinch of irritation
in your confidence with sing-song words and links.
In person and on the phone,
you roll your head, use your hands expressively; you laugh,
you say things that are right and clever, and you are certain.
You know all the concepts and
the appropriate terms and words:
each word that triggers smiles and each that is the right word and which you dim with; it’s easy; and
you have lay-bys
and fly-buys and I can get cash as I pay;
and
casual
is the antonym of
permanent
while I fumble with
temporary
and my tone.
You know your way; you are comfortable.


But I... I depress you, don't I?
Hesitant, tentative, slow and uncertain....
Apologizing for things I say, for as soon as
I've said them I wonder
because you don't respond
if I've said the wrong thing;
unsure of form and conventions,
asking for clarifications
about what seem to you to be
the most obvious things...and withdrawing
like a would-be lover who dares not commit himself...
Oh ye happy cherubim
of a white and brightly-lit Heaven,
I do depress you don't I?






(from The Migrant - notes of a newcomer (February 1997- July 1998))


Comments about I Depress You, Don'T I? by Raj Arumugam

There is no comment submitted by members..



Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?



Poem Submitted: Thursday, November 6, 2008



[Hata Bildir]